Welcome, to the Hardware Specialty, Inside Sales Attendance Pool. A pool that should not be required, but due to the hectic life we all lead, sometimes it just has to be done. It chronicles the arrival of our esteemed inside group, here at the ever-loving gathering some call home. Not me, I call it work. Since it is work, one is expected to be on time, however, arrival times may vary. Our motto, "If you do not plan, you play the fool. If you are late, you pay the pool".
In the following pages, you'll find the bios for our team, and you'll find out more about them, then they might know themselves. You'll get an inside look at what makes them tick, and what ticks them off.
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Leeender "Snookie" Donalds. The Italian Stallion of Inside Sales.
Leeender enjoys Italian food, dining out, at her favorite spot, The OG, (Olive Garden), Papa Ginos, and nearby Linguinies. Unlike most Italian mamas, Leeender does not cook, she leaves that up to someone who can, her Scottish husband. She claims he makes a mean "red sauce", but most think it's Ragu, right from the can. Leeender lives in Newton, where it's predominantly "brothers", but there is a section known as the Lake, or Little Italy, where the mob ties are still in tact. Leeender has a long history of ties to the mob, including her mother, the original Mamma Leone, (who left a note on the door), actually marched with Mussolini. If you cross Leeender, beware, there will be a spell cast on you, otherwise known as, a malocchio. Unfortunately for Leeeender, her malocchio's have never worked.
Linda is known as the SSW (Stock Stealing Whore) in the office, and there's no stock she won't steal, all to ship an order on time.
Morgan "Strep Again" Wilson.
Morgan is a sales assistant here at H/S, and rumor has it, she'll be late for her own funeral.
She is a frequent flyer when it comes to paying in to the Late Pool, and the only employee who has automatic payroll deduction for it. Her gross deposits, in one month, are more than the GNP for some third world countries. When arriving late for work, it is usually due to yet ANOTHER bout, with strep throat. It is unsure exactly what has been causing the reoccurring condition, but some say her boyfriend may be involved. Other excuses for tardiness range from, traffic, weather, or bad reaction to Star Wars tattoos.
Katy "Don't say Moist", Joyce.
Katy is an Inside Sales person here at H/S, and she is currently on her second stint. For a brief time, she left, to join the forces at Wayfair. Some say it was the catchy, irresistible, and unmistakable lingo used in the commercial, which lured her away from the confines of Northboro Road (Central). It wan't long, where she realized, that Wayfair was run by sales Nazis, and she begged for forgiveness, and a chance to come back to the place she loved, Hardware Specialty. It is here, that she calls home, among the washers, screws, and nuts. She is an avid Mini Cooper fan, and if you ever bump into her car in the parking lot, I suggest you keep it to yourself (that's all I can say about that). Katy is seldom late, but when she is, there's always an excuse. We know what excuses are like......everyone's got one.